“What the hell did you do to get here?”

by | Mar 4, 2018 | Health & Relationships | 30 comments

With the quick precision of a seasoned typist, my nimble fingers flicked over the keyboard of the “L “shaped mainframe computer.  It was 1980. Without thinking my tapping finger accidentally hit an unnoticed button on the monitor.   Speedily up flicked the DOS message.

“What the hell, did you do to get here?”

I flinched.  “What had I done wrong??” 

The message was quite a bit of a shock to my young, innocent ears.

In times past

The programmers were contacted.

They had a good laugh. It was an unassigned button.

The message had been popped there for anyone inadvertently coming across it.







Sadly this “what have I done wrong” comes to haunt us when tragedy strikes. Grief then comes to us as we try to come to terms with this at times “monster”, This when the burden seems so very difficult at times.  (If you struggle with grief issues do see a professional who can help you through. See my Disclosures )

The Question

The question – “what the hell have you done to get here”  has resonated with me over the years. Possibly first because it was not in my “usual” vocabulary.

But second and more importantly as I have increased in years – understanding changes. You come to those decisions that we make each day – that add up to the direction we take.  Some call some things fate, destiny, God’s will and some pure ignorance. One could say in some quarters ignorance is bliss. Maybe. Sometimes.

Some areas of my own life have been very traumatic – but I have always handled that by working to think of other’s trauma.  Where I could and was able. I have always thought how another’s position might be worse. I have dealt with my grief with God holding my hand. Maybe later I have wondered in not so many words but “what the hell did I do to get here” made me want to do a re-run. Just that with your life you don’t get to do that.

What direction are you taking? or rather – not taking? Are all the things in your life “required”?  If your steps so far have brought you to this point and you are unhappy with where you are now – what steps can you take to change that? If this was the last day of your life and you are finding you are doing things you don’t like each and every day – isn’t it time to make a change? Remember you don’t have to be of an older age to face the uncertainty of whether you will be here tomorrow.

Each of us has aims we’d like to happen and ways to include self improvement in our lives.


Consider a healthy lifestyle as a high aim

  • Lose weight, gain weight
  • Be organized
  • Be happy
  • Spend more time doing “real” activities
  • Meet the person of our dreams
  • Have a healthy relationship or relationships
  • Be wealthy
  • Be happy earning an income in something we love
  • Have better health
  • Travel
  • Be spiritual,
  • Move to an area we like
  • Know how to style ourselves and look attractive
  • Get married
  • Have harmony
  • Communicate what we know to like-minded people
  • Learn
  • Love and live better

The list can be never-ending and often can be pertinent to what decade of your life that you are living in.  Many things change as you might be granted any of these things. Even a wealthy person can tell you that relationships are at number one. But then maybe they haven’t had the experience on the “other side of the coin” where wealth is concerned.  A person with a lot of wealth will tell you that it isn’t worth pittance if you can’t live in robust health. Perspectives are different of course.  A person who is happy comes to realize often that it can be short-lived and dependent on “happenings”

So my question is –  what would you like to hear about on my blog? What will invite you to come back to see what I have in store here? Where are you at and how did you get here?  I would really like to hear from you. Contact me here or leave a comment at the bottom of my post below.


Quotes can be a little cliche – but one from Terryn at Just a Simple Home caught my eye.

“Happiness is an inside job.”

Can we truly have the right answers if our happiness doesn’t sort itself out from the inside first?  Or rather to have a peacefulness inside of ourselves? (I hand that to God who I believe is the author of Peace) Our thought processes play a huge part in how we feel. Thoughts normally make our mood. Then our mood often causes us to take action or flounder in – “in-action”.

Wherever you are at I encourage you to never, ever give up. You can make the change that makes the difference

I am reminded of some of the words of the Australian singer Sia from her song “Never Give Up” 

I’ve battled demons that won’t let me sleep.

A photo I took at Sunrise over Corio Bay Geelong, Victoria – Australia

Called to the sea but she abandoned me.

But I won’t never give up

NO, never give up

No, no 


And I won’t let you get me down

I’ll keep getting up when I hit the ground

No, I won’t never give up

I’ll find my way, find my way home


  • Wherever you are in life you can be sure there are answers. Be solution-oriented,
  • Think outside the circle (as I say).
  • My words for this year are “Discover” and “Leap”.  (Giving yourself a word for the year brings your mind back often as a gentle mental reminder. )
  • Moving outside your comfort zone can pay dividends. Have peace. It is a gift.  There is spiritual comfort available in knowing that love has great power and can overcome our fears.
  • Remember some things you can’t change. Like your age. If you are of mature years, whether over 30 years of age to over 80 expect it to change only one year at a time! I’m a Baby Boomer – since I have somehow got that label!  But I don’t always think like a Baby Boomer. Plus I don’t like to get stuck in a rut.
  • Sometimes you can’t get interested in new things – because you have so many of your other interests to “fill up on”. Take a break and go and “visit” someone else’s interests. It’s good to have a new perspective.
  • BE aware. Observe things that are going on around you. Don’t let yourself be de-sensitized by the many things that affect the human spirit.
  • YOU are Loved and Unique. Don’t forget that!



Deborah Hunter Kells

I have a wide range of interests and the top of my list is people and relationships. I appreciate our big wide world and nature which tries so hard to deal with what we do to it. As noted you will find a variety of topics covered (see Home page) My appreciation goes to my team and others whom I collaborate with to make this blog successful and resourceful. Thanks especially to my team: Sarah, Tina, and Billah (See footer for more of their details)

How to #dealwithlife and #problemsolve See how your #attitude can make all the difference. You may not get a re-run in life but you can be in the present and deal with
what you have presently. Remember #happiness is an inside job #Besolutionoriented not #problemcentered #Lifehasnorerun #Actnow ! #Direction