We can all glance at photos of those women who are modeling outfits and those who maybe posing for outfits (on Facebook and Instagram!) and wonder how some of them carry off a sense of style and elegance with ease. A photo of course rarely shows that an elegant woman carries quiet confidence with her and sometimes that is missed when looking for that element that makes the woman elegant.There are ways to up your game no matter your age and make elegance a “closet companion” with you on a daily basis.
Yes we can gain ideas from looking at others but there are some tips that are very helpful to make good and far-reaching changes. This was one of the reasons I chose to start my Facebook page Baby Boomer & Mature Women Clothing Styles for ideas for women 30 through 80 – nearly 6 years ago. I was in a flat place. I had put on a great deal of weight in a very short space of time due to medical reasons – so what tips could I use to have some elegance in my life?
Marcelle – a Reader who I’ve featured often on my Facebook page shows that just an addition of a blazer gives that elegant touch.
Veronica an Image Stylist points out “You can see women more stylish and elegant than others and how simple it is to implement some elegance in your life.”
She looks at the meaning of elegant where it means ” Pleasingly graceful and stylish in appearance or manner.”
Veronica points out that “Though you may wonder what an elegant woman’s secret is it is relatively quite simple.”
I agree with Veronica when she says “In remebering that it is really quite simple and that you don’t get a second chance to make a “good first impression”. It only takes four seconds in that first meeting and already people have made a judgement about you. Not only that but this judgement is concluded within 30 seconds of the initial contact.. As she adds “Your clothes are responsible for 95% of the first impression that you make on someone – since in most instances that is the percentage of clothing covering your body.”
As Veronica intimates – “Your clothing is your brand and makes sure your look communicates who you are in your authentic way.” So we can say that – your clothing and how it speaks says a great deal.
Veronica also adds – “Accept your own body.”
I add – work on associating with those who will accept you and make you feel good about yourself while encouraging you gently “to grow as a person”.While it is number one in accepting you for who you are often a catalyst can be someone who helps you see this. A good friend if you will.
Veronica adds “Wear clothing that makes you feel beautiful.”
To this remember – feel beautiful and have Faith that God has plans for you in your life that will make you beautiful with the wise words “He makes all things beautiful in His time.”
Veronica says “Don’t pay attention to celebrities. Pay attention to your own needs and your own lifestyle.“
So with that don’t compare yourself with others. However work out how to present the best you and see below for ways to do that.
With clothing Veronica says “Pay attention to how the clothing suits you and also don’t use anything that squeezes you tightly. Thus also – don’t exaggerate with ill-fitting clothing. Also combine tighter clothing with looser pieces. Thus if you want to wear a shorter skirt – put it together with a closed top. If you have a tighter blouse – wear it with looser trousers.”
Veronica adds “Dress for the occasion. Consider where you are going and what you are going to do. For example – don’t wear a party dress to a barbecue.”
Veronica finishes with “Clothing must bring happiness and make you feel pretty”.
Veronica Scavone is a Senior model Runaway teacher for women 40+ and Image Consultant. Veronica is in her 60s. She can be contacted via her Facebook
Clothing not only effects you as you wear it but also can have a profound effect on others – we must not forget that our attitude speaks even more than our outward appearance. If we are rude, unkind, disrespectful, obnoxious and unhelpful to people – no matter how we dress – you can’t hide your obvious flaws in character.
Items to incorporate for the Elegant woman:
- Make sure you have clean shoes and in good repair. Shoes with a “down at heel look or worse for wear” shows trouble with your foundation and that you don’t care.
- Have well fitting undergarments. Help yourself feel like a million dollars underneath – it shows on the outside.
- Have well fitting clothing no matter what size you are. Overweight? First of all accept yourself right now.. But – and a big but – remember this – it is said “It is hard to be overweight and it is hard to lose weight. Choose your hard!” Aim at gaining health and not looking at things so much as good or bad. Take it slow and look for ways that work for you to get in shape.You may fall off the wagon – but it doesn’t mean you have to kick off all the wheels as well.
We can learn lessons from models and their deportment and how they take care of themselves. I have been assured that the models at Fiftymodels aim for good health in their lives. Here is Maria of Fifty models. She is 59.
- Black can add depth, elegance and give an allusion of a slimming effect. Consider it in your closet if you haven’t already.
- Often classic styling of monochromatic colouring is a good choice. That is different hues of the one colour. It looks classy, in good taste and chic altogether.
- Your hair is something that is a real plus if you can not only look after it but have it styled to bring out the best in your facial features.
- Wrinkles? wear them with pride. Smile often – remember it’s how you got them (mostly!) and pop on a little light and natural make-up to give you a pop of “energy”
- Attend to your regular grooming – shower often, wash your hair. Pluck unnecessary hairs. Do your nails on occasions with nail polish – but attending to their shape and filing is something that needs doing.
I have followed Judith and her blog for over 7 years and used photos from her vintage collections. She is amazing with her unique elegance.
- Act with ladylike virtues – pay attention to how you sit, act and position yourself when interacting with others.
- Choose wherever possible quality pieces of well tailored timeless clothing or have your clothing altered by a seamstress. It will show in a positive way and you will carry yourself well knowing you have your clothing fit you well.
- Not to forget stretching – but allow a wee bit of time for some during your day. It helps with your posture and how you stand.
Graceful habits to remember for the elegant woman:
- Assess your values often. Are you heading in the right direction and are you a good example to others? What could they learn from you and your deportment or etiquette?
- If someone is in a bad frame of mind and shows this – don’t react back in the same way. Show that you are the bigger person.
- Have you been too quick to retaliate? Quietly go to that person and apologise with humbleness. We all make mistakes. Change yours to a learning experience.
Tania from 50 is not old always had a great take on elegant and graceful dressing. I have many positive responses from the clothing she chooses to share with her audience when I post her choices on my Facebook page.
- Be non-judgemental – particularly if you have little knowledge of someone you have just met. We need to make judgements to make decisions on occasion – make your judgement “without hurting wherever possible”.
- Social times and times in nature are great for your mental health.
- Speak without swearing – it can often be touted as lazy language. Don’t go there. Your gracefulness and elegance way will show this way.
- Thinking about and doing things for others is a plus. It will show on your face. Believe me!
- When you eat in company – do it with manners and in a ladylike manner. Do eat slowly, chew well (for health) and take time to be social if you are with others.
- Be aware of what is going on in your world – though you are not taking part of the negative. Find out what it is to be empathetic and remember there is always, always, – someone worse off than yourself.
- Be slow to speak unkind words of those in authority and in high places. Get to know more about their issues and what they are dealing with. It may be an outside view but you are gaining some knowledge. Do assess what source you listen to – since good and objective information is the aim. If you feel so inclined – write or email some positive thoughts to a leader. Make their day. It isn’t done half often enough.
- With those of a different persuasion than you – ie beliefs, culture, national heritage – be understanding, welcoming and friendly. You will learn as much as they do I’m sure.
- Take time to study about other cultures and partake of their cuisine and find out more about their day to day living. It helps to be well-educated when in conversation and you can make new friends this way. Take in museums and work on borrowing different cuisine cookbooks or look up online. Make up a meal and invite friends over to enjoy partaking of something different. Put your gracefulness into play on any social occasion.
- Consider learning a language – Easy to do online for free with DuoLingo or just to get some basics so you may communicate with others of different languages. They will be delighted at your efforts.
- Show an interest in what others do and what they want to relay to you. It is not good to have a conversation with others and it is all one way. Let it be both ways and show that you are really understanding and listening to what the other person is saying.
Eugenia of The Age of Grace has a special touch of grace and elegance in her choices.
Final comments on Elegance
As you can see not all ways of elegance (poise and gracefulness) are just on what you wear ie on the outward appearance. Someone can be dressed extremely well – have nail polish and clothing up to the minute in perfection but have fatal flaws in their attitude. Don’t let this be you. Be proactive. Search and find out what you lack. It is wise words indeed when it is said not to concentrate on your external – particularly if you have things to attend to on your inward part.
Deborah Hunter Kells
I have a wide range of interests and the top of my list is people and relationships. I appreciate our big wide world and nature which tries so hard to deal with what we do to it. As noted you will find a variety of topics covered (see Home page) My appreciation goes to my team and others whom I collaborate with to make this blog successful and resourceful. Thanks especially to my team: Sarah, Tina, and Billah (See footer for more of their details)