Many times in life we may feel isolated. Perhaps people don’t understand what we are going through. Little do we know that we often learn from our experiences and are better able to understand and be a friend to others. Learning to be a good friend can take time if we just want to have friends only. Being a friend is what counts.  Friends also aren’t just who are on your Social networking list. No matter what age group we belong to there is always more we can learn about friendship. It pays dividends.


What is a friend?


A friend is said to be one with whom you have a bond of mutual affection outside a sexual or family relation. But also a friend is also said to be an ally – not an opponent or enemy.


Although a friend is often on our social networking sites – this can often be littered with those who do not have the depth of knowing what a true and good friendship really is. 


So  a friend is something we can say is positive in our life and is a highly beneficial need.


A friend is someone who goes from strength to strength where you become mutually interdependent as it were. 


How do we become a friend?


We realise that being educated in what likes you have similar to you come to see what a good friend is. Sometimes youth can work it out quicker although on a different playing field so to speak.


A shallow relationship can start by being of benefit to another person as sited above. We are all ruled by human nature though and can easily understand that give and take with “what we have available” often ensues. Whether our gifts, our manners, our skills, our help, etc.


Showing friendly virtues “opens many doors” to good friendships. Friendly virtues in the stack all have at the foundation Trust. Without having that (it seems to me) we cannot have a strong friendship.



How do we remain friends?


Sometimes we make see things differently to our new friends and that is okay. But sometimes we can feel a little impatient. But don’t be. Acceptance of their virtues and those things different to us help the friendship grow. Plus we grow. If we were not different we would not learn new things. 


Through life we will have problems and more so as we grow older. Time can change our outlook on who is good to have as a friend. I say if you have chosen a friend and at some time have got on the wrong foot, stay friends – but maybe there needs to be a little distance. The passage of time and sometimes maturity in either of you means a re-evaluation of your friendship without even thinking about it. Maybe you have an illness happen, a crisis in your relatives or children. Maybe some pain that others who can understand more easily means that you may remain friends but perhaps others may fill that gap more easily when “happenings” in your life changes you and how you see friendship. You may remain friends of course but perhaps with a little less of the depth from either of you.


Needing a Friend


I can’t stress enough the Wisdom in practising friendly virtues when wanting a friend in your life because you are lonely. It may be difficult to gain a friend singularly if you are alone or sick. If this is the case apply to a local group or Church so that you may interact with more people and find those who maybe understanding of where you are at. Don’t overlook social networks that tie into your area – particularly community chats who will often have meetings of interest groups in public places.



Deborah Hunter Kells

I have a wide range of interests and the top of my list is people and relationships. I appreciate our big wide world and nature which tries so hard to deal with what we do to it. As noted you will find a variety of topics covered (see Home page) My appreciation goes to my team and others whom I collaborate with to make this blog successful and resourceful. Thanks especially to my team: Sarah, Tina, and Billah (See footer for more of their details)

How to become a good friend is a valuable skill and not to be taken lightly. Here are some tips.
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